used
so basically what the deck is telling me is that i should start smoking because it's on my path to healing.
have you ever thought about how the human life is worth roughly 10,000 dollars? my math on this is as such:
if you sever your wrist artery, it probably will not kill you. believe it or not, it's actually a wildly unsuccessful method. it's what media wants to show you as "the perfect death" or whatever, but it's not. it doesn't work. statistically, about 5% of attempts actually succeed. if you do the math on that, understanding that it's about 30,000 yen to have your wrist sutured, it works out to roughly 1.5m yen. or 9,500 dollars. isn't that kind of crazy? governments value them at roughly 1.5m dollars to, more reasonably, 13m dollars.
so if you're suicidal, you're worth less statistically. if you attempt, you're worth a fraction of what the government says you are. to be dissatisfied is to be inherently worth less, to want more means you deserve nothing. isn't that interesting? you're worth slightly more than a used car in socal.
i feel like a used car, sometimes.
is that a lighthouse with a dying light?
or a reflection of my glowing eyes?
am i a monster of the deep?